Music: Eye On You by Rocket From The Crypt

Commercials are pretty ridiculous these days. Nonsensical beer and car commercials are par for the course, but the ones that actually annoy me are the ones that pretend to talk to me honestly. Take Bob's Furniture - Bob goes on and on about how his furniture is cheaper than all the competitors and how he "squeezes the factories" to get better prices for his "valued customers." Aka, Bob stocks up on the cheap shit that better furniture stores like Jordan's - fuck, even like Bernie & Phil's - won't touch with a 500 foot pole. He buys in bulk from whoever offers it the cheapest, then unloads thousands and thousands of the identical set - he's proud of this fact, he advertises it in every commercial he makes. So if you want the same exact set that thousands of no-taste thrift-conscious WalMart patrons have, get your ass over to Bob's and purchase yourself a nice Bobopedic or whatever the factory had leftover of this week.

One commercial dude that makes me laugh is the guy behind those semi-infomercials for a menagerie of cleaning products - you know, the one that looks like Al, the co-host of Home Improvement, and is always yelling. "You need KABLAM!! Get Extreme with OXYCLEAN!!" He has no volume below 'orgasm yell.' He gets off on this cleaning shit, and he wants you all to do the same. Can you imagine this guy in normal conversation? Or trying to be romantic?

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